A briefcase called “The Football” follows the President around wherever he goes as it contains all of the information necessary to launch an offensive nuclear strike. Let’s just hope that the aide carrying it doesn’t ever get it confused with this briefcase, otherwise the President will be getting hammered while we kiss our asses goodbye.
More info after the break.
The briefcase contains:
- 1 pair of handcuffs with 2 keys
- Engraved plaque, personalized with 2 lines of text
- 375 ml Patron Tequila
- 375 ml Grey Goose Vodka
- 10 Advil tablets
- 24 Tums Extra Strength chewable tablets
- (4) 2 oz Red Bull energy shots
- .37 oz tin of Altoids
- 0.5 oz of Bausch & Lomb eye drops
- 1 wine bottle opener
- 1 deck of cards
- 5 dice
- 350 ml Martini shaker
- 4 shot glasses
The good news is that this boozy version of The Football is actually for sale. The bad news is that it’s $500. That having been said, you might want to pack your own version with some cheaper liquor.