Drunken Misadventures


The Isle of Wight is famous for two things: It’s the place Paul McCartney wanted to rent a cottage in the Beatles song “When I’m Sixty-Four,” and it’s the only county in England not to have a motorway.

Oh, and they have a dinosaur called Godshilla.

Recently motorists on the south end of the island found a particular road blocked by the giant triceratops. Specifically, it was found in the road in front of a local pub, suggesting that some cheeky buggers might’ve had a few too many Newcastle Browns and decided that the time had come for Godshilla to migrate from its home on the property of one Martin Simpson to its new location blocking the middle of the road.

Simpson has suggested that it would probably take at least five people to move the giant faux dinosaur. You might think you could lure this herbivore out with a nice salad or a bunch of brightly-colored berries, but you’re forgetting one crucial fact – he’s not a real dinosaur. I mean, come on, people.

(IWCP via Mashable)


A group of bros were reported for drunk driving motorized picnic tables through the busy streets of Perth, Australia.

Police are apparently pissed and concerned, stating that they are risking their safety an the safety of others by driving unlicensed, un-roadworthy vehicles while drunk and wearing no protective clothing.

The world waits with bated breath to see if this story ends with a police chase.

(via DM)


What do you do when you’re drunk? Eat pizza rolls and send out embarrassing text messages? Prepare to feel bad about yourself because an engineering student at Michigan Tech got completely wasted this past weekend and designed an airplane.

After sketching some preliminary drawings, he grabbed his engineering textbooks and a whiteboard and proceeded to unleash drunken imagination in the form of an “ekranoplan” – a type of aircraft that travels at high speed over bodies of water. When the work was done, he shared his design (complete with complex mathematical equations) with his roommate and a buddy. The result was an incoherent, but apparently hilarious, presentation that saw him occasionally pass out on his whiteboard and speak in a language that was described as “slurred robot”.

After being confronted by his work and actions the following day, the student, who is going by the name “Mark” to avoid any future employment sabotage, remembered nothing about the experience. However, his roommate took the opportunity to post the tweet after the jump.

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drunk texting

This is the a hilarious tale of an email exchange between a drunken student with a poor command of the English language and an extremely forgiving, well-humored, bald professor.

After more than a few drinks, Patrick Davidson emailed his teacher, Mr. Martin asking for an extension on his paper. Then proceeded to offer help with his balding and “bangin” situation, throwing about a few f-bombs in between. Then Davidson thoughtfully closed his email with an uplifting sentiment “keep slayin boi.”

He obviously thinks very highly of Mr. Martin and the professor’s response was perfect. Check out both emails after the break.

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Actor Chris Pratt had some fun promoting his upcoming appearance in GQ (along with Fireball Whiskey) by giving us all an acting lesson, while hilariously drunk. Apparently, whiskey (Fireball only) is what it takes to help you truly understand the imminent threat of being eaten alive by a dinosaur.

See Chris’s tweet and the NSFW (language) video after the break.

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The shambling undead wander about on The Walking Dead like a bunch of drunks, which gave Marca Branca an idea. He replaced the zombies in the opening with footage of actual drunk humans wandering around and it’s a little frightening how well it works. Remember this the next time you’re tempted to have one drink too many.

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bike et

Some guy in Queensland had one too many and decided he’d try his luck at stealing a life-size Yoda statue. Since that seemed too easy, he added a little Jedi-level challenge attempting to do this by setting the Jedi Master atop the handlebars of a bike (that he also stole). The man was arrested and Yoda was taken into custody. The best part is the official statement from the police which read:

“Yoda was later released from the Ayr watchhouse without any charges being laid but [a] caution for not wearing a helmet when riding a bike.”

The similarity to the bike scene in E.T. was also not lost on the police who described the similarities as “uncanny”.

Now I want to see a complete recreation of E.T. with a drunken Aussie playing Elliott.

(Brisbane Times via Boing Boing)


(via Blame It On The Voices)


I think this week’s “unnecessary spending” award goes to one “uhcougars1151” from Houston, Texas. Recently, the Redditor indulged in some imbibing and used Uber for a ride to a nearby bar@mdash;and when I say nearby, I mean that Google Maps estimated that the 82-foot journey would’ve taken approximately one minute to walk. Maybe longer if he kept stumbling and falling.

And the cost? Well, despite using the “25 percent off uberX this summer” deal, the total fare came to $4.28. He admits:

“After a night of fairly heavy drinking, I woke up to find I took a very unnecessary cab ride.”

Yeah, I think unnecessary is a bit of an understatement.

(Reddit via Gawker)

red bull jaeger knex

(via Tosh.0)