Drunken Misadventures

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(via Blame It On The Voices)

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I think this week’s “unnecessary spending” award goes to one “uhcougars1151″ from Houston, Texas. Recently, the Redditor indulged in some imbibing and used Uber for a ride to a nearby bar@mdash;and when I say nearby, I mean that Google Maps estimated that the 82-foot journey would’ve taken approximately one minute to walk. Maybe longer if he kept stumbling and falling.

And the cost? Well, despite using the “25 percent off uberX this summer” deal, the total fare came to $4.28. He admits:

“After a night of fairly heavy drinking, I woke up to find I took a very unnecessary cab ride.”

Yeah, I think unnecessary is a bit of an understatement.

(Reddit via Gawker)

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This brawl between two drunk Russian guys is pretty funny to watch, but add in some Street Fighter sound effects and it’s hysterical. Watch as Vodkaman and Drunkenstein swing and miss, and miss, and then fall over on their faces. Really, someone needs to move that car out of the way before one of these guys decides to smash it in a bonus stage.

See both the original and Street Fighter version after the break.

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(via Tosh.0)

drunken cat

Videos like these remind me why I can never have a cat. I would totally spend all my time making weird videos of it sipping vodka and getting into the underwear drawer instead of going to work.

Then we’d both need an intervention which I would, of course, have to film.

See the video after the break…

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James “The Beast” Nielson, a two-time NCAA 5,000m champion, has claimed the record for being the first person to do the Beer Mile in under five minutes.

For the uninitiated: The Beer Mile involves running a mile around a track while stoping every 400 meters to drink a whole can of beer.

Nielson completed the feat in 4 minutes 57 seconds. His wife filmed his progress, and Nielson commented in the video that he’s been training for a year (I’m assuming some beer was involved in all that training).

Check out his attempt after the break..
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Yes, that man extremely intoxicated. There’s also a fence in his way and it’s causing him a lot of trouble, but a charitable individual shows him the secret of the rusty green fence and everything ends on a happy note. Yay!

Watch the video after the break…

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game of thrones drinking game

I know drinking games are fun and I think we need one for Game Of Thrones because, well, GoT makes you need a drink more often than not.

But I’m pretty sure the rules of this drinking game by The Savory would result in alcohol poisoning.

Aw, what the heck. Valar Morghulis.

Head after the break to see the rules.

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bad cinderella cake

(via Cheezburger)

Taco

It’s no laughing matter when you suddenly get a craving for your favorite food. In this case, that food would be tacos and the poor person suffering from a serious case of he munchies, redditor squirrelsoup, has a completely inadequate vehicle for managing the snowy roads. The solution? An eloquently crafted Craigslist plea:

Guys it’s snowing like a bitch outside, I’ve had a few drinks too many, and my sh*tty little hybrid douchemobile can’t possibly make it to the neighborhood Taco Bell in this weather. I need someone with a 4 wheel drive vehicle to come pick my drunk ass up, take me to the Taco Bell drive-thru, and drive me back home. Then we can hang out and play video games if you’re not a rapist. This is maybe 2 miles round trip. I’ll pay in tacos. or chalupas. whatever. Seriously my desire for tacos right now is totally unmanageable, so I’d probably even buy you a 7 layer burrito if you asked nicely.

I dunno. I think I’d need at least two 7-layer burritos to make this worth my time. Other people must have agreed because, in the end, he sobered up and made it there himself.

He ordered a “nacho loco taco, a crunchy taco, a soft taco, a chalupa, and some cinnabon bites,” in case you were wondering.

(The Daily Dot via Gawker)