It’s April 1st, and that means companies are letting their imaginations run wild with phony new food products designed to build up our hopes then bring us crashing down to reality (I’m still holding out hope for breathable BaconAir).
Check out the list after the break—we will be updating it throughout the day as new products are discovered so make sure to check back in.
Starbucks Mobile Pour App: “…inspired by your ideas on MyStarbucksIdea.com we’re proud to introduce the exciting new Starbucks® Mobile Pour service that puts baristas on scooters. In seven of the largest cities around the country, we’re sending out two scooter baristas per every square mile to ensure speedy service.”
We’ve even made ordering easy with our Mobile Pour app for your smartphone. Simply download it, allow it to pinpoint your location, select your coffee order and keep walking. Your fresh, hot Starbucks brew will be in your hands before you can say abra-arabica.
Edible Gummy iPhone Cases: The Edible Gummy iPhone Case comes straight from Korea, and it’s fully eatable . . . edible. We mean, you can eat every last bit of it! They come in eight different colors and flavors – from beautiful orange (kimchi flavored) to delectable purple (fish lip flavored) to stylish white (garlic cream flavored). Okay, so the flavors take a little getting used to, but they are just the thing when you are trapped and hungry.
Star Wars Lightsaber Popsicles: Each Star Wars Lightsaber Popsicle set comes with four saber hilts: two Luke and two Vader. Just add juice (or any delicious liquid) to the mold, stick on the hilts, and pop the whole shebang in your freezer for 4 hours. Run a little warm water over the mold and the full saber can be removed. Activate your saber’s LED for a light up treat that screams awesome and tasty all at once. Included is a recipe book with wonderful flavors to try, like “Chewbapple,” “Ponda Berry,” “C-3POrange,” and Admiral Ackbar’s favorite: “It’s a Grap(e)!” It’s always time for Jedi refreshment when you have some Star Wars Lightsaber Popsicles. May the force-icle be with you!
Angry Birds Pork Rinds: These crispy delicacies were painstakingly collected from the wreckage of exploded green pig flesh by the Pork Remnants Collectors Union 1337. After a bath in a vat of boiling oil, they are seasoned to perfection and packaged in snack sized bags. Break one open and taste the crisp, salty, savory flavor that only green pigs can produce. A truly succulent treat for the discerning mobile gamer.
Chocolate Zombie Bunny: Spring has sprung and all the little woodland creatures are… screaming and hippity-hopping for their lives? It’s a zombie bunny, and double-bopping him on the head isn’t going to stop his murderous rampage. This is no ordinary rabbit! It’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on! He’s not going to nibble your bum; he’s going to tear you limb from limb with his nasty, pointy teeth.
It’s a good thing the virus turned his flesh to delicious white chocolate. All you need to do is sneak up on him (easier said than done, we’ve lost several warehouse monkeys to rabbit attacks) and once you’ve nabbed him, take him out quickly. Use your teeth, brave Knight! Grasp the rabbit firmly in your hands, shove his head in your mouth, and behead him with a single chomp.
The Shirt Plate: Each Original Shirt Plate is made of high quality, unbreakable plastic. We ran it over with Willie’s SUV and it didn’t even get a scratch! The Original Shirt Plate attaches to a classic black cotton t-shirt using an ingenious system of washable hook and loop fasteners. This means you can eat the messiest foods with confidence, even while fully reclined!
Bacon Inhaler: For many people, the first steps on the road to quitting meat are often the most difficult. Even if you only eat meat socially, cutting it out completely can be a shock to the system.
While many turn to ham patches, tests show that people looking to conquer their meat addiction have longer-lasting results with the Bacon Inhaler. Not only will it occupy your busy hands, but two puffs of the baconated vapour will satisfy your body’s cravings for protein, as you wean yourself onto seeds, grain and cheese.
In its new compact, portable form, the Bacon Inhaler can be used outdoors or on the move, the moment your cravings strike. Simply take two deep breaths and carry on along the road to a meat-free life.
SteelSeries 7H Pep-It Headphones: The SteelSeries 7H Pep-It™ headset includes an ExtremeNozzle™ design for a simplistic, yet intricate approach to hand-free sipping technology. Located on both the right and left side of the headband, the universal holders are connected through the SteelSeries ExtremeNozzle™ keeping a precision balance of liquid and steady flow of fuel to the gamer. Stay tuned for an upcoming partner announcement with a beverage partner for an all new, original gamer-activated energized drink, the perfect accessory for the SteelSeries Pep-It™.
If you come across any amusing food-related April Fools products not mentioned here, make sure to let us know in the comments. And make sure to check out our April Fools lists on sister sites Nerd Approved and CubicleBot.