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Cap’n Crunch Forced To Respond To Rumors That He’s Not a Real Captain

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Observant eaters who stare at their cereal box rather than a TV or the face of another human during breakfast noticed that the cuffs of Cap’n Crunch’s uniform display three stripes rather than four, meaning he is, in fact, Commander Horatio Magellan Crunch… Or is he?

The Cap’n took time out of his busy schedule to address the rumors, stating via Twitter:

The Consumerist soon responded with the following:

He’s absolutely right: Being in command of a seafaring vessel automatically entitles one to be addressed as “captain,” irrespective of rank.

Now that that’s all straightened out, we can get back to cutting the roofs of our mouths with his delicious cereal.

(via Gawker)

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