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It’s a proven fact that fast food rarely looks as good as it does in the commercials. It’s kind of a bummer, but we all just accept it because, come on, would you actually send your food back so the cook making minimum wage could make your burger a bit more “TV ready?”

The folks at Mediocre Films would, and did. They shot a hidden camera video where they ordered grub from various fast food restaurants (McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Jack-in-the-Box). Then they sent back the inevitable disappointments to see if the staff could make the food look a bit… uh, prettier. Believe it or not, when the fast food staff took their time, they actually cranked out some pretty decent-looking burgers and tacos.

Check out the video after the break…

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Yes, that’s right. There are 17 different kinds of beef in this one burger. This bad boy has over 2,500 calories and will cost you $40. It’s not just the burger either. You’ll also get “a beef tomato consommé-based Bloody Mary with jerky shards and thrice cooked beef dripping-fried chips with a pulled beef Ragu dipping sauce” because 17 kinds of beef isn’t enough. Full ingredients include:

  • Carpaccio beef and olive
  • 21-hour Texas-smoked brisket
  • Juicy Lucy (melted cheese hidden inside a 100% steak burger)
  • A Parmesan and Jacob’s cracker-crusted pattie made of pulled oxtail and pulled ox cheek with diced slow-smoked ox heart and ox liver
  • Jalapeño and dill pickle relish
  • Thickly sliced mustard-pickled tongue
  • Unholy sticky beef jus
  • Pulled 12hr smoked beef rib
  • Blackened Wagyu rib eye steak
  • Beef bacon
  • Red’s Dirty sauce
  • Chargrilled red onion ring

It will only be available on Father’s Day at Red’s True BBQ in Manchester and Leeds UK, so if you happen to be on that side of the pond, now you’ve got your Father’s Day plans.

See another picture after the break.

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burger pop tart

Unhealthy and sugary as they are, I can’t resist a Pop-Tart. Something about the faux fruit filling and pastry appeals to my inner child. This burger pop tart, however, is made for adults. It’s made from a sesame seed pop tart pastry, cheddar cheese, bacon jam, and smashed beef patties. There’s not a full recipe, but you can scour the web for the necessary information to make a duplicate of this savory treat. The quest would be worth it!

(Pornburger via Gizmodo)

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This ode to Game of Thrones is called the Kaleesi Burger as it is both a tribute to the Mother of Dragons and contains not beef, but kale. Kaleesi—get it? Hahahaha…eh.

Smokey morsels of crisped shiitake “bacon,” crown a regal beet gratin, smothered in Red Dragon cheese on top of a crunchy, berberre-rubbed kale patty, heirloom tomato, and slathering of sumac aioli.

Sounds a heck of a lot better than raw horse heart.

(Pornburger via Sploid)

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Have an obsession with Super Mario Brothers? Then these Koopa Troopa bacon burgers are for you! All you need is ground beef, bacon, hot dogs, cheese, buns, and food dye. You have to assemble the burgers carefully and then paint the tops of them with a food coloring of your choosing. I’d be a little worried about ending up with soggy buns, but in this case, the presentation of the burger overrules my concerns.

See more pics, including a silly gif, after the break.

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It looks like a McDonald’s meal with a burger, fries and a delicious shake, but it’s actually made out of nothing but cookies by the sister of @987akka who clearly knows her way around a chocolate chip cookie.

(Rocket News 24 via Gizmodo)

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These incredible creations will make every burger you’ve ever had look like a wimpy, pale imitation of the real thing. They’re all found on Pornburger and feature everything from the Mac Daddy with lobster, mac and cheese, and bacon to The Bambi which is made with, you guessed it, venison. And if you’re particularly daring, there’s always My Blood Valentine with a lamb heart tartare, sardine aioli, beet chips, quail egg, trout roe, and herb salad.

See more pictures after the break…

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cat macaron pillow

Cats like to burrow and snuggle. It is known. Since felines also like food it’s a given that this comfy cat bed that looks just like a macaron is perfect. The bed isn’t only built for sleep, it’s clearly made for play. Though it does look just like the French cookie sandwich it was named after, this peach version also resembles a hamburger bun. Whatever you want to call it, it will make your cat happy. If Maru approves, I approve.

See more shots of the bed after the break.

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Who knew that all this time we’ve been making a mess of our burgers because we’ve been eating them wrong? The Japanese, that’s who. The Japanese television show Honma Dekka!? hired experts in fluid mechanics, engineering, and dentistry to determine the best way to hold a burger so that you don’t end up wearing most of it after one bite.

According to science, the way we usually hold a burger with our fingers all on top and just our thumbs on the bottom is what makes it squish and fall apart. Instead, we should be putting only three fingers on top with our pinkies and thumbs on the bottom. Now you have something new to try next time you’re at a burger joint.

See an additional picture after the break…

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Buns made of bread are popular for a reason; the chewy texture and the carbs are a wonderful balance to meaty burgers or sausage. It’s not the only option though, and Dude Foods has been experimenting with bread replacements. He recently used edible adhesive – the kind that bakers use to make decoarting easier – to patch together some french fries to make a french fry bun. I’m sold.

You start with straight-cut frozen fries, bake them, and glue some patties together. It’s clever, and I bet that you could cover up the slight lemon taste of the adhesive with some seasoning.

Get all the details at Dude Foods.