If you’re a guy and couldn’t care less about garnishing your food with sugary bits of rainbow magic drained from a unicorn, then consider buying this thing to give it modifications to meet your disgusting standards – such as an enchanted sprinkle dispensing butt or mouth. Then it can become a beloved part of your animal waste dispenser collection.
Look for it to drop sometime in the near future.
Product Page: (£8, or about $12)
Author C.W. Moss delves into unicorn depression with his latest work “Why Unicorn Drinks” – a selection of which is featured after the jump. Surprisingly, the existence of unicorn meat doesn’t appear.
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Hit the jump for an additional pic.
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The answer is a cake with a unicorn pooping cupcakes. Naturally.
(Cake Wrecks via Neatorama)
This t-shirt depicts the mythical Unicorn On The Cob with its majestic horn of corn. It’s magically nutritious. On the other hand, his evil brother Unipopcorn likes to hang out at movie theaters and fatten up kids for slaughter with salt and butter.
Product Page ($20)
Back in medieval times, they tried to cook every type of animal and animal part possible. Cooks were constantly looking for ways to impress people sitting at their lord or lady’s table. No creature was exempt, not even unicorns. Yes, they’re real and and coming to a dinner near you.
Amazingly enough, the British Library found a period cookbook illustrating the method to roast a unicorn. Cloves and garlic are used in the marinade, and the carcass should be spit-roasted. The cookbook provides helpful illustrations on prepping the unicorn, too. Of course this find was made on April Fools’ Day, but maybe… just maybe.
“Taketh one unicorne”. The recipe calls for the beast to be marinaded in cloves and garlic, and then roasted on a griddle. The cookbook’s compiler, doubtless Geoffrey Fule himself, added pictures in its margins, depicting the unicorn being prepared and then served. Sarah J Biggs, a British Library expert on medieval decoration, commented that “the images are extraordinary, almost exactly as we’d expect them to be, if not better”
(Medieval and Earlier Manuscripts Blog via Edible Geography and io9)
Bring magic back to meal time with this set of chopsticks featuring mutant unicorns with extra long horns. Unfortunately the magic stops there – the unicorn’s touch won’t supernaturally remove all of the calories and fat from your food.
Product Page: ($11.99)