Much like the slimy gruel served aboard the Nebuchadnezzar in The Matrix, this food-like substance provides everything the body needs…except flavor. Therefore, it’s used as a punishment for misbehaving inmates in correctional facilities around the US.
ChicagoMag sent one of their critics out to try it, and came away with the following impression:
An employee from Aramark Correctional Services–a branch of the Philadelphia-based company that also provides fare for college dorms and NFL stadiums–presented me a Styrofoam container sagging with a blunt ginger-toned mass roughly the size of a calzone and with the appearance of a neglected fruitcake. It had nothing else in common with either.
The mushy, disturbingly uniform innards recalled the thick, pulpy aftermath of something you dissected in biology class: so intrinsically disagreeable that my throat nearly closed up reflexively. But the funny thing about Nutraloaf is the taste. It’s not awful, nor is it especially good. I kept trying to detect any individual element–carrot? egg?–and failing. Nutraloaf tastes blank, as though someone physically removed all hints of flavor.
Now you know why inmates have sued over Nutraloaf calling it “cruel and unusual” punishment. Makes death row look like a better option doesn’t it?
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