The Sasquatch Burger: A Culinary Legend

There’s a certain dive bar in Tempe, Arizona, called The Lodge, where I first encountered the Sasquatch Burger. It wasn’t just the burger itself – a monstrous stack of beef, cheese, and bacon – but the atmosphere of the place: the low lighting, the murmur of conversations, the clinking of glasses, and the sheer audaciousness of ordering something called a “Sasquatch.” Taking that first bite was like scaling a culinary mountain. Cheese stretched in every direction, bacon crumbled, and the juicy patty held it all together. It was an experience that imprinted itself on my memory, and I’m thrilled to share this formidable feast with you.

Recipe Overview

• Prep Time: 25 minutes
• Cook Time: 20 minutes
• Total Time: 45 minutes
• Servings: 1
• Yield: 1 monstrous burger
• Dietary Type: Not specified (contains meat, dairy, and gluten)

Ingredients

• For the Minced Mushrooms:
  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 1 lb assorted mushrooms, sliced
  • 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
  • ½ tablespoon red wine
  • 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
  • 1 garlic clove, chopped
  • Salt and pepper to taste
• For the Burger:
  • 10 ounces ground beef
  • 1 teaspoon red wine
  • 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
  • ½ teaspoon garlic powder
  • ½ teaspoon sriracha sauce
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 4 pieces Texas toast thick bread (store-bought thickly-sliced white bread)
  • 6 slices American cheese
  • 6 slices cheddar cheese
  • 6 slices Swiss cheese
  • 1 tablespoon butter, at room temperature
  • 6 slices bacon
  • 1 tablespoon mayonnaise
  • 1 tablespoon yellow mustard
  • Tomatoes, sliced
  • 4 leaves romaine lettuce
  • 1 white onion, sliced thinly
  • Pickle spears, for serving
  • Potato chips, for serving

Equipment Needed

• 12-inch heavy-bottomed pan
• Medium bowl
• Large griddle
• Paper towels

Instructions

1. Prepare the Mushrooms: Heat a 12-inch heavy-bottomed pan over high heat until very hot. Add the 2 tablespoons olive oil and then the 1 lb sliced assorted mushrooms. Cook, stirring frequently, until golden brown, approximately 5 minutes.
2. Deglaze and Flavor the Mushrooms: Add the 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice and ½ tablespoon red wine to the mushrooms. Continue cooking for another 2 to 3 minutes, allowing the liquid to reduce slightly.
3. Finish the Mushroom Mixture: Stir in the 1 tablespoon unsalted butter and 1 chopped garlic clove. Cook, stirring, until the butter is fully absorbed into the mushrooms. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Remove from heat and allow the mushroom mixture to cool completely. Once cooled, chill completely in the refrigerator.
4. Mince the Mushrooms: Once thoroughly chilled, finely mince the mushroom mixture. Store the minced mushrooms in an airtight container until ready to use.
5. Prepare the Burger Patty: In a medium bowl, combine the 10 ounces ground beef, 1 teaspoon red wine, 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce, ½ teaspoon garlic powder, ½ teaspoon sriracha sauce, salt and pepper to taste, and 1 teaspoon of the minced mushrooms. Mix all ingredients thoroughly until well combined, being careful not to overwork the meat. Remember to save the remaining mushroom mixture for another use!
6. Form the Patty: Form the seasoned ground beef mixture into one thick patty.
7. Assemble the Grilled Cheese Sandwiches: Lay 2 pieces of Texas toast on a clean work surface. On each of these pieces, arrange 2 slices of American cheese, followed by 2 slices of Cheddar cheese, and then 2 slices of Swiss cheese, using a total of 4 slices of each cheese type. Top each stack of cheese with the remaining 2 pieces of Texas toast.
8. Butter the Grilled Cheese: Generously butter the outside of each sandwich with 1 tablespoon softened butter. This will help them achieve a golden-brown crust on the griddle.
9. Cook the Burger Patty: Heat a large griddle over high heat. Place the patty on the griddle and cook to your desired doneness. For medium-rare, cook for approximately 4 minutes per side.
10. Grill the Cheese Sandwiches: While the burger is cooking, grill the cheese sandwiches on the same griddle until they are golden brown and the cheese is melted, about 3 minutes on each side. Keep a close eye on them to prevent burning.
11. Cook the Bacon: Lay the 6 slices of bacon flat on the griddle. Cook for 5 to 7 minutes, then flip and cook for an additional 3 to 5 minutes, or until crispy. Transfer the cooked bacon to a plate lined with paper towels to drain excess grease.
12. Assemble the Burger: Slather one side of each of the hot grilled cheese sandwiches with 1 tablespoon mayonnaise and 1 tablespoon yellow mustard. Place the cooked patty on one of the sandwiches. Add the remaining 2 slices of American cheese, 2 slices of Cheddar cheese, and 2 slices of Swiss cheese directly on top of the hot burger patty.
13. Add Toppings: Top the cheese-covered patty with the 6 slices of cooked bacon, sliced tomatoes, 4 leaves of romaine lettuce, and thinly sliced white onion.
14. Complete the Sasquatch: Place the second grilled cheese sandwich on top of the toppings, completing the Sasquatch Burger.
15. Serve: Serve the Sasquatch Burger immediately while hot and melty, accompanied by pickle spears and potato chips.

Expert Tips & Tricks

• Mushroom Prep: Sautéing the mushrooms in a hot pan ensures a beautiful sear and deep flavor. Don’t overcrowd the pan, or they’ll steam instead of brown. Cook in batches if necessary.
• Burger Patty Perfection: Don’t overmix the ground beef mixture. Overmixing can lead to a tough burger. Gently combine the ingredients until just incorporated.
• Cheese Melt Mastery: For optimal cheese melt, tent the griddle with a lid or foil while the grilled cheese sandwiches are cooking. This will trap the heat and help the cheese melt faster.
• Bacon Bliss: For extra crispy bacon, bake it in the oven at 400°F (200°C) for about 15-20 minutes.

Serving & Storage Suggestions

The Sasquatch Burger is best served immediately while everything is hot and the cheese is gooey. Due to the complexity of the burger and the various components, leftovers are not recommended, but if you absolutely must store it, disassemble the burger and store the components separately in airtight containers in the refrigerator. Reheating is best done in a toaster oven or skillet to maintain crispness. Reheating the entire burger as one unit will likely result in a soggy mess.

Nutritional Information

Please note that these values are estimates and can vary based on specific ingredient brands and preparation methods.

Nutrient	Amount per Serving	% Daily Value
Calories	3396 kcal	N/A
Total Fat	244 g	375%
Saturated Fat	121.8 g	608%
Cholesterol	672 mg	223%
Sodium	3755.6 mg	156%
Total Carbohydrate	115.4 g	38%
Dietary Fiber	12 g	48%
Sugars	26.7 g	N/A
Protein	189.3 g	378%

Variations & Substitutions

• Vegetarian Sasquatch: Substitute the ground beef patty with a large portobello mushroom cap marinated in balsamic vinegar and herbs.
• Gluten-Free Sasquatch: Use gluten-free Texas toast and ensure all other ingredients are gluten-free.
• Spicy Sasquatch: Add diced jalapeños to the ground beef mixture or use pepper jack cheese instead of some of the other cheeses.
• Regional Twist: Replace the American, cheddar, and Swiss cheeses with provolone, mozzarella, and asiago for an Italian-inspired Sasquatch.
• Lower Carb: Omit the texas toast and serve the burger on top of a large bed of romaine lettuce.

FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)

Q: Can I use different types of mushrooms for the minced mushroom mixture?
A: Absolutely! A mix of cremini, shiitake, and oyster mushrooms will add complexity and depth of flavor.

Q: Is it necessary to chill the minced mushroom mixture before using it?
A: Yes, chilling the mixture makes it easier to mince finely and helps the flavors meld together.

Q: Can I make the burger patty ahead of time?
A: Yes, you can prepare the burger patty up to a day in advance. Store it in an airtight container in the refrigerator.

Q: What’s the best way to ensure the cheese melts evenly on the grilled cheese sandwiches?
A: Using a non-stick griddle and cooking over medium heat will help the cheese melt evenly without burning the bread. You can also cover the griddle with a lid for a minute or two to trap the heat.

Q: Can I use regular sliced bread instead of Texas toast?
A: While Texas toast provides a sturdier base for this massive burger, you can use regular sliced bread, but be aware that it may not hold up as well to the weight of the patty and toppings.

Final Thoughts

The Sasquatch Burger is more than just a meal; it’s an experience. It’s a culinary challenge, a monument to indulgence, and a guaranteed conversation starter. Gather your courage, sharpen your appetite, and prepare to tackle this legendary burger. Don’t be afraid to get messy – that’s part of the fun. And if you manage to conquer the Sasquatch, be sure to share your triumph (and maybe a picture!) with the world. Enjoy!